you are literally my heart. my greatest joy.
everything that i hold dear and sacred in my life is in you. the wonder of love, of God's creation. and part of your brilliant daddy.
i thank God for that day you were born. june 5, 2013.
for at 11:56pm on that holy night, the world was changed. for good.
my life was changed. for good.
and you came into the world so perfectly!
you barely made me feel sick while i was carrying you.
you were head down, ready to go, for weeks. perfect.
you were the perfect size. 7 pounds, 5 ounces.
you had the perfect cry the instant you took your first breath.
well done, you.
perfectly peaceful, you were.
there was no mistake made.
you gave me the greatest gift. the gift i have been waiting for all of my life. the gift of being a mother. your mother.
and i will always be.
i'll never stop caring for you. i will continue to nurture your spirit on earth by taking deep care of your lasting legacy. i will fight for you. i will stand firm for you. your memory will be long-living. even in death, you will remain alive.
you are a miracle. and though your loss here on earth is great and the pain is deeper than it feels possible to bear, you have inspired us, with every day, to be a miracle like you.
i will remember you in every rainbow, every hospital, every baby's cry, every loss, every blessing, and every tear.
i will remember you on every 5th of the month, 18th of the month, 23rd of the month, and every other single day.
i can't ever forget the bursting joy you brought into this world the moment you arrived, because everything i do is now colored by it. for good.
your life, if only 13 days, will impact and bless the rest of mine.
i promise, in honor of you, to love deeper, purer and with more passion and humble vulnerability, all those in my world - especially your amazing daddy and future little brothers and sisters, our rainbow babies.
be at peace.
for noah, you are peace personified.
sweet dreams, little man.
your adoring mommy