Tuesday, October 15, 2013

I Remember

it's october 15 - pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day.

a day that i didn't even really know existed until now. shame on me. 

i apologize for all the days in my past that i have allowed this day to pass without a second thought for little lives lost. 

now my eyes are opened. i see the suffering. we weep together.

people from all around the world are lighting a candle today in remembrance of all those little lives lost too early through miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death. 

and i join them. my remembrance candle is lit.

for Asher.

for Bennett.

for Henry.

for Johnny.

for Joel.

for Elliott.

for Hudson.

for the Paddock babies.

for Joshua.

for Joey.

for Jacob.

for Briggs.

for Dominique.

for baby R.

for Samuel.

for baby K.

for Shannon.

for AJ.

for Noah.

for Layla.

for Eliza.

for Eden.

for baby B.

for Rachel.

for David.

for Jasmijn.

for Colton.

for Fletcher.

for Isaiah.

for Jannik.

for baby Chee.

for Phoebe.

for Ronan.

for Edoardo.

for baby N.

for baby F.

for Bailey.

for Christopher.

for Alexander.

for baby Hoffman.

for baby Marrs.

for Noah Hudson Butler.

for all those too young to have a name.

for all those not listed, you are in my heart.

each of your sweet lives, though way too short, mattered. you have eternal value in this world. 

you are loved. 

you will never be forgotten.

you shine brightly, today and forever.


  1. Remembering your sweet Noah, today especially. It is astounding what your eyes are opened to when your baby dies. Wishing you didn't have to walk this road, but sending you love and support on your journey.
    (Phoebe and Ronan's mom)

  2. Loving you and thinking of you today. Thank you for remembering our Asher today and giving him a place to be remembered.

  3. McCayla, thank you so much for this post. I had no idea we actually had a national day of remembrance. Shame on me too. Thank you for recognizing Elliott. We'll light our Remembrance candle tonight for Elliott and Noah, and for all the angels we don't know, but are familiar with their parent's love and heartache. And we'll also light our Hope candle, for the future babies we hope to hold one day.

  4. There are no words... just wanted to say that I'm sending out love and thoughts as you remember and grieve today (and always)

  5. I lit a candle for the babies and thought of your Noah as well! <3 thanks for thinking of Joel.