Wednesday, February 5, 2014

My Only Pregnancy Complaint

i was watching the ellen degeneres show a couple months ago (as i do) and kelly clarkston was on. she was 11 weeks pregnant and here's pretty much what she talked about the entire time:

"oh my god, it [being pregnant] is so upsetting...i vomit a good dozen times a day. it's bad. it's so bad. i know, it's so gross. and that's the thing, too -- you're not attractive when you're pregnant. my nails are short, my hair still falls out .. it's not all lush and beautiful. and i have no glow. unless it's like something left over from a bad throw up. it's horrible. i'm so happy i'm pregnant. i just wish he or she would stop trying to kill me."

now, i like kelly clarkston. i think she's lovely and ridiculously talented. i watched her season of american idol and hoped she'd win. i even went to her concert in 2004. (granted it was to see the opener, clay aiken, but whatever.)

but i was really disappointed with her attitude in this interview. her consistent complaining about being pregnant really rubbed me the wrong way. (and don't get me started on the obnoxious pregnant chick from parks and rec. i don't usually watch the show, but i caught a few moments of her complete madness and i had to leave the room, it annoyed me so much. (side rant: why are almost all pregnant women portrayed on tv or in the movies as psychotic, demon-possesed, overly-emotional crazy people?)

i'm no pollyanna, but i love being pregnant. yeah, the vomiting and extreme fatigue are not my favorite things in the world, but i'm growing a human being inside me. it's such a miracle and a wonder that i honestly don't really care how difficult the process is. and i am grateful for it, because i would choose all that 'grossness' over the alternative of not being pregnant at all. it took about a year to become pregnant with noah (and, really, i had been waiting my entire life previous to that to become a mom), so when i finally did become pregnant it was nothing short of amazing. so i refuse to complain about any of it... or at least i try.

give or take a couple months, i have been pregnant for like a year and a half. once miles is born, i'll have been pregnant for just shy of two years. that's a hell of long time.

it's a long time to have a nursery ready and a closet stocked, with no baby.

it's a long time to be going to the doctor's office month after month,
week after week.

it's a long time to wait for a greatest hope to be fulfilled.

i truly believe there is beauty and purpose to waiting.
the anticipation. the preparation. the patience-building.
but i've waited long enough.

so here's my only pregnancy complaint:

(pregnant pause)

june 11th, please come quickly.

addendum: i believe every woman, every human, deserves the right to be authentic and honest. each pregnancy is unique and some are incredibly difficult and painful. i, in no way, want to communicate that anyone should "keep their mouth shut and not complain" if they are genuinely having a hard time with their pregnancy. that's unfair and judgmental for me to say. i just desire for more sensitivity, in general. one person's "worst day ever" might be another's dream. we never know.

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