Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Noah's Pics: Edition Four

13 days wasn't nearly enough time with this one.

sometimes it feels like the cruelest tease. we were cheated out of a lifetime getting to know who this little boy would grow to be and the type of man he'd become.

we'll never get to hear what his laugh sounds like. we won't know what his first word would have been. we won't ever meet the person he decided to spend the rest of his life with.

noah was an angel boy the moment he was born. and this picture captures the essence of his sweet and peaceful nature. so content.

i wish i could be a lot more like him.

there was a lot we didn't get and it's easy to focus on what we don't have, especially when what we don't have is the one who completed our world. that's quite the void.

but today i choose to be thankful for what we do have.

we have a son. and for that, and the world of love he brought, i am grateful.

i'm not going to lie though, i'm dreading tomorrow. the day of thanks. because it's really, really hard to be thankful right now when we are missing so much. and a day focused around family, when you are missing one third of yours, doesn't feel right in any way, shape or form.

on this grief journey some days are tougher than others, and today is one of the tough ones. i'm feeling a little sorry for myself and just want to curl up under a down comforter and watch some seinfeld.

but that's okay. oftentimes thankfulness is sweetest when found in the midst of bitter heartbreak.

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